March 16th marks two of my favorites holidays: 1.) The release of the new Dragon Age:Origins – Awakening 2.) St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner. To commemorate this occasion we at Polish the Console have devised a series of shots for each party member in Dragon Age: Origins.
Morrigan: Angry, Bitter, Dark
1/2 Black Velvet
Morrigan is an angry bitch of a woman who doesn’t care who you are or what you do. Stay out of her way and don’t get involved. If you absolutely have to be ready for an experience that can only be best summed up with: alone, sore, and full of shame.
Alistair: sweet, easy going down, but not easy to get with
3/4 shot Bacardi Rum
1 splash of Baileys Irish Cream
Little Bit O’ Honey
Alistair is a big softy. He’s not hard, but he does pack a bit of a bite. He’s easy on the eyes, and from what I’m told, on the taste buds
Leliana: Lame, tells long stories that go nowhere, relatively pointless
1/2 shot O’Douls
1/2 shot Sweet Vermouth
In some circles this is also known as the “Aspergers”. While Leliana can (from time to time) be somewhat interesting to have around, there is really little to no point to her presence. It’s essentially like doing a shot just for the bitter, boring, and uninspired flavor.
Sten: Sour, Angry, and Hard Hitting
1/2 shot Jack Daniels
1/2 shot Bacardi 151
1/2 shot Apple Pucker
Yes that’s 1.5 shots. Sten is a big boy, get a small glass. Sten isn’t pleasant to have around. He is a large bitter giant who steals various confectionery treats from fat children. Once he starts swinging back up or get knocked down and knocked down hard.
Zevran: smells bad, he’s nasty, and he likes to sneak up from behind
Grape Jello Shots mixed with 1800
There is nothing that sneaks up on you quite like Jello shots. He may play all coy and innocent with a strange leather boot fetish but turn your back on him and he’s all over you. This goes for in the tent and outside of it. He’s an assassin. It’s what he does.
There are few things like an 1800 Jello shot that can do you in for the night once it hits you.
Dog: Panty Droppers. That’s what dogs are best at. ‘Nuff said.
Oghren: Short, dangerous, bitter, and angry
Shot of Whiskey
He’s a small fireball of bitter rage. Deep down he’s not so bad but my god can he do some damage when he wants to. You could see yourself having either a great time or a broken rib when you hang with Oghren. You also may find yourself having a slew of barely coherent insults thrown your way.
Dragon Age: Origins Optional Party Member – Shale
You’ve gotten every other party member, why not go for 100%. It’s time to get shale. Lets face it, after gathering and taking everything listed above you may be hurting a little. It’s time to fall over and take a big face full of sidewalk. Lets face it, that’s pretty much what shale is. One big walkin’ talkin’ sidewalk covered in semi precious gems.
Everyone have a happy St. Patrick’s Day. I challenge you to gather your own party and have yourself a little adventure to fight an archdemon of your own.
BTW, we here love new drink recipes. If you think you have a better one please let us know with the comment section.
Well WTF BioWare? Listen, I totally share Kat’s sentiment towards you guys, but I also share the sentiment that I love perving out. on Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening’s website they have a rather handy FAQ:
1.7 – If I had a romance in Origins, does it carry over into Awakening?
Romances do not carry forward in Awakening, because you are away from your previous life fighting a new threat.
Now this is to be expected unless you wind up marrying and taking over the crown in the end. For male protagonists you’re primary romantic interest (Morrigan) is off with your child in the woods and there is no guarantee that Leliana will be with you at the moment. Even if she is there is go guarantee your love interest will fit in, have the right skills, or be needed in the new campaign. But then I read further:
1.8 – Who can I romance in Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening?
There are no romances options available in Awakening. The story is focused more on the mission at hand and the new threat to Ferelden.
Come on now. You mean to tell me my character isn’t going to go looking for strange when off in a new land? You apparently don’t know my character very well. Let me clue you in. She’s an angry bitter whore of a city elf who does what she wants. Sure the primary male main character I have is a fine upstanding fella, but the girl? She’s gonna find a way to tent. Mark my words.
What the FAQ does say that really makes me excited is that:
1.9 – Which Dragon Age: Origins NPC will be returning?
Besides Oghren who plays a large role in Awakening, there are cameos and returning characters…
For me, Oghren was phenomenal comedic fodder. We had some wonderful analogies and misunderstood references. I laughed for hours when I heard Ohgren use the term “Pike Twirler”. I actually looked at my fiance and asked if she wanted to “grease up the ol’ bronto”. She said no. I think it worried her a little.
(thanks to reddit for catching the above typo. you’re always there for me.)
When asked her opinion Kat (who may be BioWare’s biggest fan…she may even be stalking them) responded with:
Learning the fact that you can’t romance in DA:O-A…almost makes me feel like…eff that. Totally takes the wind out of the sails.
While we are still going to purchase and play the crap out of it because…well…that’s what we do, we will still feel like something is missing. Like the game is slightly incomplete. While it’s entirely possible that we wont even notice the lack of tenting I am still going to miss it.
To check out the FAQ you can find it on the Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening website.
While Kat was writing the post Virtual Reality Video Games: Population Control we got to talking, and as of right now I have some serious unanswered questions about VR and gaming. Lets just start out with the most open question:
“How immersive will VR be?”
If Dragon Age: Origins was virtual realty would that mean that video game developers would actually have had to create…well…Alistair penis? Video Game design and development meetings certainly would take a whole different turn wouldn’t they? “What should Leliana’s nipple to boob ratio be?”
“We need to pick a design for Morrigan’s hair.”
“We did that last Thursday.”
“No her other hair.”
For the sake of realism all the motion capture work would have to take it to the next step. Can’t you just picture it now: Man covered in full body motion capture suit. Little white ball on the tip ‘o the tallywhacker. Would the actors dispute the size of their motion capture?
Would someone actually have to decide what Leliana’s crotch smells like? I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume they aren’t going to decide cinnamon and Day Lilies. Who has to determine that? Nerds everywhere (myself included) would LOVE to be a video game tester, but not if video games go virtual.
“Oh man, someone needs to crank down the funk on body odor for Niko. He’s going to make people vomit.”
Would this make in game showering mandatory for in game interactions? For every smell level you increase your charisma drops one. That would be an absolute pain in the ass. Imagine Fable III taking the touch mechanic one step farther into the smell mechanic. If you come home smelling like the town whore your wife bitch slaps you with a wooden spoon.
“Why do I smell stale beer and canned fart?”
“That’s just Oghren.”
Would you be allowed to turn smells off? That might be nice. I really don’t want to know what a sloth demon smells like. Desire demon maybe. Sloth demon no.
Would playing a simple game like Mario be huge stress release? You’re running around, punching bricks, jumping angrily on things. I bet getting shot out of a cannon is a rush. I wonder where the raccoon tail attaches to my body. Also I wonder how I wag it to fly. Do I have to actually EAT the mushrooms to grow bigger? I don’t like mushrooms, can we change it to gummy bears? Can I just touch the mushroom?
For Kat, VR means population control and getting to “experience” Alistair. For me, it means I have to smell the dwarf.
I take pride – I mean, real, ‘goeth-before-a-fall’ pride – in creating characters that I’ll be playing as for the next 50+ hours . Because, let’s be honest, who doesn’t like looking at hot avatars? I try to make my characters sexy and attractive, so I’ll enjoy watching cut scenes with my character throughout the game.
It can be a lengthy process. Sometimes it takes me longer to create my character than it does to play through the intro. Yeah, I’m that obsessed.
I was pretty content with Avaline, my human noble rogue (”noble rogue”…is that an oxymoron?) character for Dragon Age: Origins. Check out a screencap of her below (by the way, I’m taking pictures of my TV with my cell phone, so the quality might not be the best).
Now, if you’ve played Dragon Age, you know there’s a character in this game named Leliana. You first meet Leliana in Lothering, if you go into the tavern Dane’s Refuge. Some of Loghain’s soldiers are there and want to fight you, and suddenly Leliana pops up and wants to help, and then wants to join.
Leliana, the human rogue.
Leliana, the red-haired woman.
Leliana, the red-haired woman who has almost the exact same hairstyle as my character.
Needless to say, when Leliana first appeared on the screen, my mouth dropped open at her almost identical appearance to Avaline.
So you can see how I might be upset. After spending so long on making my character, I find out I have a companion who is basically my twin.
…but if Leliana is my character’s twin, then Avaline is definitely the hotter one.
At least I think so. I might be biased. Compare the two pictures below – Avaline is on the left and Leliana is on the right. Now let’s take a vote. Who’s hotter?