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Dragon Age: Origins – St. Patrick’s Day Party Shots

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

March 16th marks two of my favorites holidays: 1.) The release of the new Dragon Age:Origins – Awakening 2.) St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner.  To commemorate this occasion we at Polish the Console have devised a series of shots for each party member in Dragon Age: Origins.

Dragon Age Origins Party Member MorriganMorrigan: Angry, Bitter, Dark

1/2 Black Velvet

1/2 Jagermeister

Morrigan is an angry bitch of a woman who doesn’t care who you are or what you do. Stay out of her way and don’t get involved. If you absolutely have to be ready for an experience that can only be best summed up with: alone, sore, and full of shame.

Dragon Age: Origins Party Member - AlistairAlistair: sweet, easy going down, but not easy to get with

3/4 shot Bacardi Rum

1 splash of Baileys Irish Cream

Little Bit O’ Honey

Alistair is a big softy. He’s not hard, but he does pack a bit of a bite. He’s easy on the eyes, and from what I’m told, on the taste buds

Dragon Age: Origins Party Member LelianaLeliana: Lame, tells long stories that go nowhere, relatively pointless

1/2 shot O’Douls

1/2 shot Sweet Vermouth

In some circles this is also known as the “Aspergers”. While Leliana can (from time to time) be somewhat interesting to have around, there is really little to no point to her presence. It’s essentially like doing a shot just for the bitter, boring, and uninspired flavor.

Dragon Age: Origins Part Member StenSten: Sour, Angry, and Hard Hitting

1/2 shot Jack Daniels

1/2 shot Bacardi 151

1/2 shot Apple Pucker

Yes that’s 1.5 shots. Sten is a big boy, get a small glass. Sten isn’t pleasant to have around. He is a large bitter giant who steals various confectionery treats from fat children. Once he starts swinging back up or get knocked down and knocked down hard.

Dragon Age Origins Party Member ZevranZevran: smells bad, he’s nasty, and he likes to sneak up from behind

Grape Jello Shots mixed with 1800

There is nothing that sneaks up on you quite like Jello shots. He may play all coy and innocent with a strange leather boot fetish but turn your back on him and he’s all over you. This goes for in the tent and outside of it. He’s an assassin. It’s what he does.

There are few things like an 1800 Jello shot that can do you in for the night once it hits you.

Dog: Panty Droppers. That’s what dogs are best at. ‘Nuff said.

Dragon Age Origins Party Member OghrenOghren: Short, dangerous, bitter, and angry

Killian’s Irish Red

Sour Mix

Shot of Whiskey

He’s a small fireball of bitter rage. Deep down he’s not so bad but my god can he do some damage when he wants to. You could see yourself having either a great time or a broken rib when you hang with Oghren.  You also may find yourself having a slew of barely coherent insults thrown your way.

Dragon Age: Origins Optional Party Member – Shale

Dragon Age Origins Optional Party Member Shale You’ve gotten every other party member, why not go for 100%. It’s time to get shale. Lets face it, after gathering and taking everything listed above you may be hurting a little. It’s time to fall over and take a big face full of sidewalk. Lets face it, that’s pretty much what shale is. One big walkin’ talkin’ sidewalk covered in semi precious gems.

Everyone have a happy St. Patrick’s Day. I challenge you to gather your own party and have yourself a little adventure to fight an archdemon of your own.

BTW, we here love new drink recipes. If you think you have a better one please let us know with the comment section.

Mistaken Identity, Part 2: Ugly Cousins

February 24, 2010 Leave a comment

Prompted by the Squall’s Dead post, Wadoobie and I were discussing some of the characters and finer points in Final Fantasy VIII.  Being that Dragon Age: Origins is one of our favorite games, we started comparing some of the features – let’s face it, we were talking about FF8’s lack of perving – and we stumbled upon an odd similarity involving two characters.

Make that multiple odd similarities.

Including being annoying, having face tattoos, being short, having blonde hair, orphans, names that start with ‘Z-E’…

Zell from Final Fantasy VIII

Can't you see Zell's pointy ears?

In case you haven’t guessed yet, I’m talking about Zell from FF8 and Zevran from DA.

We’re about 90% sure these guys are related.  It’s kinda hard not to see the resemblance once you realize it.  Just visualize with us for a minute:

Both of these slightly annoying, less than wonderful characters were orphaned.  Zell was later adopted by dear Ma Dincht, while Zevran was plucked up by the Antivan Crows, a warm and fuzzy group of assassins.  Coincidence?  I think not.  They share features, such as the blonde hair and face tattoo – and their tattoos are on the same side of their face.  This also points to some sort of shared blood.  Even their names are similar, starting with the same two letters.

You may be thinking, ‘This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!  Zell is human while Zevran is an elf.  How can they be related?’

Zevran from Dragon Age: Origins

Zevran loves...hot dogs...

While that is a valid point, I would like to again highlight the fact that both characters are orphans.  Therefore, we don’t really know what lies in their past.  Perhaps Zevran and Zell are cousins, and their grandparents are humans, and one rebellious daughter decided to get freaky with an elf.  Or, perhaps Zevran is Zell’s grandpa?  With all the love children Zevran most likely created, it’s certainly possible.  Maybe we just don’t know that Zell has a little bit o’ elf in him.

And the last bit of obvious evidence…?  How about the fact that they both like hot dogs?  One literally, and one a little more…figuratively?

Don’t groan.  You know you think it’s hilarious.

-Kat